30 Days of Gratitude

Because November is the month of Thanksgiving, I decided to follow the trend of thinking of something to be grateful for on each day of the month. However, I didn't really feel like I wanted to put it up on Facebook every day. Partially because I don't know that I would have been as honest (I may have tried to think of things that would make me look good...), and quite frankly, I enjoy posting my obnoxiously funny statuses. I wasn't really willing to give that up. Besides, I figured enough people were posting about it for the rest of the world, so I decided to just keep track of them and put them all in one place. I think I'll do this every year. It might be kind of neat to see how my gratefuls change year to year. Or it might not. Either way, here are my gratefuls for 2012:

1. Idaho sunrises. There is absolutely nothing that can beat an Idaho sunrise. They are nothing short of incredible.
2. Being able to have a great time with my friend Alex. It was especially nice after being in Utah with not much of a life whatsoever.
3. Dance. Especially improv. I haven't danced since tour, and I've been feeling like my soul is withering away. It is now much more renewed. And also today, I'm especially grateful for my best friends. They really are the greatest.
4. Eternal families. I got to go to my niece Kimber's baby blessing today. It's so exciting to see my siblings build their eternal families!
5. Dave and Bethani. They are incredible people! They are just so great to take me under their wings. I can't even tell you how grateful I am for their hospitality.
6. To live in a free country. Oh how blessed we are to be here. Even if the votes don't go the way we would like, at least we have the chance to vote.
7. A good job. This job is really so great, and I am so happy that I (surprisingly) enjoy what I'm doing.
8. Fruits and veggies. They make me feel good.
9. Beautiful Utah snow. It makes winter here seem much more bearable than in Idaho...
10. To have my own room and a bed! I never thought I would be so happy to sleep in a bed!
11. Welcoming members of the church. I went to a new ward today, and all the members there made me feel so loved and welcomed! It really makes such a big difference.
12. The Lord's mercy, and the opportunity I have to start fresh through the incredible sacrifice of the Atonement.
13. The mountains. Ask anyone. I'm obsessed with these mountains.
14. The plan of happiness! And having a chance to share that happiness! I love it when strangers recognize that I'm LDS. It makes me feel like I just might be doing something right.
15. To live in a place that is close enough to almost anything I could ever need. This is a first.
16. Sleeping in. It is such a glorious feeling to wake up and not be miserable.
17. My bro, Jason, and our obnoxious, goofy relationship. And the fact that I'm always crocheting when he calls me.
18. High heels. They just make me feel so feminine!
19. That I don't have to do homework! I can go do things on a whim if I so choose, because I don't have assignments waiting for me!
20. DANCE!!!
21. Being sore :)
22. Amazing extended family (including ancestors), and learning about my mom and her life when she was a child...so much fun! What a great Thanksgiving Day.
23. My parents, and their quirks (such as Dad's jokes, and when he plays with the way words sound...like "Dillards"...haha). As their only child on Black Friday, it was fun just being the three of us.
24. Texas Roadhouse...yay for having a social life!
25. A merciful, ever-loving Heavenly Father.
26. That I'm a good enough employee to be offered a full-time position before I'm even fully trained. Even if I did turn the offer down.
27. That I'm pushing myself outside of my comfort zone more and more.
28. Good people who have connections to help me live my dreams :)
29. Good people who go out of their way to do things for me! My co-worker offered to go to the post office to pick up my iPhone and bring it to my house for me. What a sweetheart!
30. The arts, and what they mean to me.

So there was this one time....

Most people who know me know that my friends and I have recently had....quite the experience while visiting California. And thus I have had several people asking me about it, wanting to know the details. 

While I am so grateful to know that there are so many people that care about me, I honestly hate retelling the story over and over. 

I just want to forget the whole thing ever happened.

But alas, I cannot.

In fact, I found that it has been impossible to get it out of my head. 

No matter how badly I want to.

So I've decided to try killing two birds with one stone.

The birds being: people want to know what happened, and I need to try to get it all out so I can move on; the stone being: this post.

So. Here's the story.

Two of my best friends (Tiffany and Hannah) share a birthday. August 22nd. We've never been able to celebrate their birthdays together before, so we decided this was the year to do it. After spending the weekend in Portland for our friend Sarah's wedding, we headed off to spend the week in California at Hannah's house in Roseville. We got up early on Wednesday to head out to start the birthday celebrations! I slept like a rock in the backseat the whole way there. Our first stop was the Oakland temple. Both Tiffany's and Hannah's parents were married there, and Tiff had never been, so it was a fun way to start off the day.

Oakland, CA temple

Then we headed off to San Fran! We found a place to park, and got on a bus to take us down to where all the exciting stuff was.

Trying to figure out where we were going, while Tiff sits next
to a  man who was less than enthusiastic about our presence...

Once we made it, we walked all around....Fisherman's Wharf, Ghirardelli Square, Ripley's Believe It Or Not, Boudin's for lunch, Chinatown, Lombard Street.....we looked into taking the tour of Alcatraz, but they were fully booked :( 

So basically, we had a great day! It was seriously such a great time. I mean, what could be better than spending a day of carefree fun in a big city with two of your best friends on their birthdays?

We were getting done at Chinatown when Hannah's friend, Jonas, called to meet up with us. He works not too far outside of the city, so we had decided to meet up and go to dinner or something. 

He made it to the city, and picked us up (since we were pretty far from our car), and we went to go find the Japanese Tea Gardens, in Golden Gate Park. Well, we got there, but the gardens were closed. So we just walked around the area for a little while, until we decided it was time to eat. We took off, and Jonas dropped us off at our car...where me and Tiffany became our obnoxious selves while we left Hannah and Jonas to decide what our plans would be. 

Apparently we couldn't decide where to eat, so we were just going to follow Jonas. He was the hungriest, so we figured we'd just stop and eat wherever he decided. So we took off for the freeway...we drove for a little while, then finally got off on Cesar Chavez Street. It was a pretty sketchy looking area, and we were joking about how we were going to get shot here, wondering why Jonas decided this was a good place to stop.

It was around 9:00, when he pulled into a gas station and parked at the end of the lot, so we pulled up on his left side and rolled down our windows so we could chat. We talked for a little while about our options, and had basically decided to just go our separate ways and find food on our own, when "it" happened. First of all, let me set up the scene for you....Hannah was in the driver's seat, Tiffany was sitting shotgun, and I had the backseat, middle, feet on the hump (thank you, Brian Regan). Tiffany was on her phone, sort of looking down, and I think Hannah and Jonas were still just talking, so I was the only one who saw it coming. 

Two men came around the corner of the gas station...the first one had a bandana over his face, but all I could see was the gun pointed right at us. I barely even noticed the second guy. All I could think was, "That's a gun. He's pointing a gun at us. This can't be real..." It literally felt like I was watching a movie. I tried soo hard to say something, to tell the others what was happening, but I was completely, 100% frozen. Hannah later told me that she could hear me mumbling something...but then they were suddenly right there, yelling at us to give them our purses. I turned to my left to get at the little black purse I had been using all day, because I was going to try to quickly get my cash and debit card out before I gave him my purse. But then as I turned around to hand it to him, I saw that the second guy had pulled himself into the car through the window, just long enough to grab mine and Hannah's purses that were on the seat next to me. Then suddenly they were gone, and we took off. 

Hannah drove us down the street where Jonas had gone, but that is also the direction the criminals had gone, so me and Tiff (mostly Tiff) calmly directed Hannah to back up and drive back to the freeway. Now, normally in a situation like this, I would be the calm one helping everyone stay relaxed. But Tiffany was in the front seat guiding Hannah through, and was doing great...so what I would normally be doing was already being done, so I was just left in the backseat to process what happened. I called my mom, who told me that we needed to call the police, which Tiffany heard, so she called them on Hannah's phone (because her phone had been taken). After I got off the phone with my mom, I handed my phone up front so they could call their families and such. 

As all this was happening, it started to hit me what had just happened....and I lost it. I just broke down and started crying. If you know me at all, you know that I am a dry well who very, very rarely cries. And not even my best friends had ever seen me cry before. 

So this was quite a big deal. 

And I couldn't stop.

Tiffany was trying to comfort me, reaching back to me, holding on to me, which I am so grateful for.

After several phone calls and getting lost, we finally made it to the police station. We were all positively shaking by the time we got there. They took down our information and had us list everything that was taken. For me, the two main things that I was (and still am...) so sad about were my purse that I had just gotten in Chinatown in New York a few weeks before, and my journal. My journal had contained everything from the past four years of my life. It had started my first semester of college, and I was just finishing up writing about my last tour. It still make me sick to my stomach to think about it.

Then they had us relive the experience for them, to give them as many details as we could. So it was here that I learned a little bit more...like how the first guy ripped Tiffany's phone out of her hand and took her bag as well. And that the criminals were screaming at us the entire time. I apparently had gone temporarily deaf, because I only heard them scream once, maybe twice. And that Jonas had yelled Tiffany's name a few times before he peeled out and took off. I also heard none of that.

I think my body had gone into shock mode pretty quickly.

So we finished up at the police station, they walked us out to our car, and we headed off for home. We even ran a few stoplights on our way to the freeway, because there was no traffic and we were terrified. We did have to stop for gas, but we waited until we found a place that was well lit and had more people around. Then we were finally on a straight shot to Hannah's house. By the time we got there, we had all taken our turns breaking down. I was trying to sit as far forward as I could so I didn't have to feel like I was by myself in the backseat. We talked about what had happened for pretty much the whole drive. Then we finally made it home.

Hannah's family had all stayed up to welcome us home, giving us all hugs and saying that they were sorry that that happened to us, and how grateful they were that we were okay. I was so grateful that they were there. Even though they're not actually my family, it felt close enough. And I am so grateful that we weren't driving back to an empty apartment like we would have if we were up at school. 

We stayed up for probably at least another hour talking about the whole incident. I didn't think I would ever be able to sleep again, but by the time my head hit the pillow, I realized how exhausting the whole ordeal had been. 

Sometimes I still imagine what could have happened if we hadn't been so blessed.

Someone could have been shot.

They could have pulled Hannah out of the driver's seat and drove off with me and Tiff.

The second guy could have pulled me out of the backseat along with the purses.

If we had gotten out of the car to talk to Jonas, there are so many other things that could have happened.

In the end, I know that we have so many things to be grateful for. 

None of us had been harmed.

All they took was "stuff". 

Stuff can be replaced.

Even if my journal is irreplaceable, I have since received great comfort in knowing that I will have those memories restored to me in the next life.

We are all definitely still scarred and traumatized from the whole experience.

But it happened, and now we're doing our best to move on.

And I just want you to know how difficult it has been to write about this. It's taken me about two or three weeks to do it. And normally after I write a post, I go back through and check to see if it makes sense and such. 

But I just really don't want to this time. 

So if there's anything grammatically incorrect...I apologize.

But I'm just going to have to ask you to put up with it.

I love you all!

My Life, My Obsession

Two years ago I was having a casual conversation with a friend and fellow dancer when she asked, "Why do I love to dance?". She was only asking it hypothetically, and the conversation immediately turned to another topic. However, the question stuck with me. I later went home and just started writing, searching for my answer. This is what I ended up with:

Why do I love to dance? Obviously I really love to just move. Buy why exactly? Why dance? 

It is such an expressive medium. The Lord made our bodies to move. He has created us scientifically so we can move artistically. Our bodies were purposefully given a great range of motion, and we should use what the Lord gave us. I believe that using that full range of motion allows me to show my appreciation for what I've been given. When used to the full capacity that I am aware of and constantly yearning and searching for what I am still yet unaware of, I show and gain a greater appreciation for what I have been given. 

I believe improvisation is the purest form of dance. Most especially when the movement is unrestrained, and comes from the deepest corners of the heart. As I improvise, I am simply moving; moving in such a way that I don't even fully initiate. I feel more connected with my spirit, and with my Creator.

It is such a testimony builder to see and feel myself improve. If this art form was not pleasing to the Lord, He would not assist me in my growth as He has. I know that my life has been changed for the better due to dance, and I have seen evidence of others' lives improving as well. I feel myself reach deeper within myself each time I dance. As I reach and ponder the meaning of the current dance I'm performing, I find another little piece of evidence of who I am. 

Supplementing dance with my study of the gospel (and vice versa) has helped me discover myself, my true self, one combination or one verse at a time. I love my Heavenly Father, and anytime I dance, ultimately, I am dancing for Him. He knows me, even better than I know myself. Through dance, He helps me understand myself and His plan--His plan for me. I am a dancer, and I am a daughter of God. And He loves me.

Work Joys

• I was registering a patient, who was wearing an exceptionally sparkly ring, so obviously I told her I loved it. I told her that I just really love sparkles. To this she replied: "Yea, I think all women do." Oh dear.....if only she knew the extent of my obsession.....

• As I was registering another patient, her daughter came in, and was wearing a Declo Hornets sweatshirt! I didn't know them, but it was fun to connect with a fellow Declo-ite :)

• I was sitting at the front desk, which has a view of the front revolving door, which is quite large to accommodate wheelchairs and such. In comes a rather older gentleman wheeling in his bicycle. And behind him was a young man in a wheelchair. And I just realized this was probably more interesting to me at the time than it is to you right now. But there you have it. A teeny tiny taste of my day at work.

It's a Sara Bareilles kind of day

Fall is here.
Normally this makes me sad.
I realize this puts me in the minority.
But I am 100% a Summer Girl.
And yes...it's so true that it deserves capitalization.
However...I'm oddly pleased with the change of seasons this year.
I don't know if it's because Fall is absolutely gorgeous here in Utah....
Or because it signifies that change can be beautiful.
Whatever it is, I'm grateful for it.
It has granted me a greater perspective.
So Happy Fall, all :)


Also, this song just felt especially great today. I hope you like love Sara Bareilles.

Handstands Across New England

Just a handful of this incredible team :)

I was blessed to have one last turn on BYU-Idaho's Dance Alliance before I graduated. This made for 3 years in a row on this amazing team. It also means that I have now been able to go on 3 very different tours, each just as incredible as the last.

First we went to the west coast to Oregon and California, then for the second tour we made our way to Texas, then I ended this last tour on the east coast all over New England. So now I get to tell you all about this year's tour!

There is a catch, however....I had my purse stolen about a week and a half ago (there will be a separate post all about that, have no fear), and in my purse was my journal and my itinerary from tour. Between the two were all of my notes from tour with all the little memories and happenings from the 2 1/2 weeks.

So these entries (which I'll postdate to correspond correctly) are now my way of trying to remember what we did, and may be a little rough. Wish me luck....here I go!

Homework

I haven't done any for about a month.

T minus 121 days until graduation...I can do this.

My New Family, My New Life

DANCE ALLIANCE 2012.

It's my third time on the team.

Every time, the team becomes my family.

At the beginning of the year, I never know everyone. I always look around at all the unfamiliar faces, and try to ingrain them in my brain, so I'll be able to look back and remember that moment. The moment we all made the team, to be more specific.

It's one of my favorite things to look back on at the end of the year.

If you look back through my previous posts, you can see how much being on Dance Alliance has affected my life, and how much the people on the team have affected my life.

This is the last time I get to be on this incredible team....and I'm so excited! I'll graduate in July, we'll go on tour to the New England area, and then I'll be off to the "real" world!

What better way to finish my college career?

Honestly....I'm terrified.

I just about had a panic attack just now, writing about it.

But I'm also super excited.

I've been in school for my entire life! And suddenly, I'm about to be done?

(unless I do decide to go to grad school...)

Odd.

Wish me luck!

Growing Pains...from '11 to '12

Wow.

A lot happened in 2011.

A lot.

I finished my second year of Dance Alliance.

With a solo in the show.

Also touring in Texas.

I got a job at Melaleuca.

I was Relief Society president.

For two semesters.

And I learned a ton through my dancing.

A ton.

And this is all just a very brief skim over the surface.

To be honest though, most of what I've learned has come through dance.

It has applied to just about every part of my life.

Including the Gospel...my personality...my social life...school...family...etc.

I attribute a lot of this to my Somatics class.

What is Somatics, you ask?

That is a hard question to answer.

But I'll give it a whirl.

Somatics is an upper level class for my major (which is dance...if you didn't already know).

It's sort of a study of the body, mind, and spirit, and connecting them all together.

There are different techniques, or principles to learn from.

Last semester, we focused mostly on Bartenieff Fundamentals, and also

Laban's theories.

This semester we'll be focusing on Alexander technique.

Last semester, we were required to do three 4-minute solo improvs

We then watched the video of ourselves, and analyzed it based on our

knowledge of the principles we were learning.

It was very...very interesting.

It led to so many insights.

In fact, my teacher made a comment on one of my improvs that led to a

pretty deep insight to my personality that I hadn't ever really

acknowledged, or realized. That then led to a whole new discovery process

of myself.

To be honest, it was kind of a painful semester.

I learned so much about my weaknesses--physical, mental, emotional--and

it was kind of difficult to face.

But face it I did.

There were tears.

Which is kind of a miracle.

Because I don't cry. Like, ever.

It was rough, and very difficult.

But oh...so good!

I'm now at a point in my life where I can make changes happen.

Because I know now more than ever that I have to be the one to make those changes.

And make them I will!

So look out world....

Here comes the new and improved Megan Ruth Turner!